Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

     Miss me? Sorry, I've been doing all my blogging on good old fashioned paper for the past few months, but I'm back now and boy do I have a huge revelation (thanks in part to Lilo and Stitch as well as the homecoming theme this year).

     So you know how people always describe events as a roller coaster ride?  Some go as far as to say that life is one big roller coaster ride?  Well I completely agree with those people, but for more than just the obvious "life has ups and downs".  The metaphor is way more than that, it delves deeper into the experience of riding a roller coaster.
     Yes, a roller coaster goes up and down.  That's pretty easy to relate to life; throughout your life there are good moments and bad ones of the like.  You don't really notice yourself go up though, or at least I don't.  It's a slow rise and, if you're actually noticing it instead of talking with the person next to you,  the entire time you're just worrying about the inevitable descent.  The only time you really grasp how high up you were is as you're plummeting towards the ground.  You don't notice all the great times in your life, they hide themselves as mundane events, until things start going wrong.  You don't realize how good you had it because you were so aware that something unpleasant was someday going to happen.  So there's the rise of the elevator.  The fall is also pretty accurate.  You drop at ungodly speeds and just when you think you're about to die, you're suddenly facing upright again.  Something can seem like the worst thing in the world and sometimes it feels as though you're never going to get out of the fog, and then you realize that life keeps going and it's not the end.
     Roller coasters are terrifying, there is no denying that.  Life is terrifying, there is definitely no denying that. And yet a roller coaster with no descent, life with nothing bad ever happening, doesn't sound like an enjoyable ride.  The fear, the excitement, the possibilities, the negative and the positive, these are the things that make life worth living.

The Camila

     The jock. The popular one. The nerd.  These titles all seem so incredibly outdated, but the idea of them still hangs.  The word "the"is possibly the strongest word when it comes to how we describe others.  It implies that she is the only person, or at least the main one, that holds that characteristic.  We label ever person with "the"; teenagers would call it a persons "reputation".  Now instead of someone's reputation being as vague as jock or cheerleader, they are the partier, the alcoholic, the clingy one.  It's what one person thinks of whenever they think of you.  How much does that suck?
     The straight-edge, the prude, the slacker, the nice one, the slut, the leader.  That's me.  I am all of the above, and none of the above.  I do not drink or smoke so yes, technically I am a straight-edge.  However, I don't care if others drink or smoke while I'm around, so I'm not the most straight-edged person out there.  I do not "go far" with boys, and I don't really plan too any time soon so yes I am by definition a prude.  I do however very much enjoy the occasional "hook-up" quite a lot, so I am no where near the prudest girl out there.  I do not let myself stress out over something like school, I don't always hand in homework, and I'm usually not prepared for class.  I am by definition lazy.  I also get good grades, and grasp the material exellently, so I'm not about to get an award for slacker of the year anytime soon.  I am friendly to all, or I try to be.  That makes me friendly.  I get frustrated, annoyed, and bitchy towards people pretty frequently; there are plenty of friendlier people out there.  Again, I love making-out with people.  Not really ashamed of it.  I won't go far though so I can get ruled out for slut supreme.  I was class president so I am a leader; I love being a leader.  I can't make decisions and am no longer class president; not exactly the best leader.
     This post is titled "The Camila", a title that should be changed because I know plenty of other Camilas.  Truth is I am all of those things, just without the "the".  No one word suits me perfectly; no one word can sum up who I am.  No one word is sufficient to describe anybody.  It's the combination of all the possible titles that make us who we are.  The different combinations make us unique.
     So fine, call me the prude or the straight-edge, you're only just scratching the surface.

17 and Summertime

     Every summer my best friend and I have taken to making a list of goals for the next few months, a summer bucket-list if you will.  Well apart from that here's my own personal summer bucket-list, that I know you're just dying to read:

• Watch the sunset at the beach
• Reconnect with old friends
• Read a new book that has nothing to do with anything magical
• Finish my entire summer math packet for once
• Carve my name into a tree
• Make at least one July Saturday night unforgettable
• Avoid negative thoughts
• Meet a new good-friend
• Do not judge anyone based on others' opinions
• Do a front flip on a trampoline
• Bleach my hair again
• Take at least one new risk
• Make memories and keep some secrets
• Not worry

     So there you have it, along with my other list of typical-teenaged-girl summer to-do's, this one is my very own.  Why not just mix this one up with the one me and my friend have? Well that's an easy question; this is my summer being 17, and she still gets to have her 16th summer which is already special in so many ways.  So it may be silly, but there you have it.  Fingers crossed!

It's the Age of Innocence

     There have been times when I've wished I grew up in the 60s, the 20s, and especially the 90s.  I read books, watch shows, and learn about those decades; especially the 90s.  But, when I stepped back and looked at Beverly Hills 90210 or Saved by the Bell I realized something: it's all in my head.  Their lives seem like so much fun.  Back in a time when dating was a process that involved a getting picked up at the door, a movie (possibly dinner beforehand) and maybe, just maybe, a little kiss goodnight.  A time when clothing didn't have to be revealing to be considered good-looking.  A time when good, clean fun was the only type of fun there was.  If only that was the case.  It's not about when they grew up, because I'm sure that a few decades down the line there will be teenagers wishing they had grown up at the turn of the millennium.  Life can always seem innocent if that's the way you want it to be.  The truth is, the age of innocence is not when you're a little kid, it isn't a certain decade either.  The age of innocence is the time period when someone forgets all the hardships and pointless fights that have happened, it's that rare moment (after you've grown up a bit a realized that life isn't always rainbows and butterflies) when you flash back and see your life as the decade you want to be in, see it as the best time in the world.  We learn from the mistakes and the awesomeness of the times before us to shape a unique and thrilling world of our own.  It's not really an era, it's more of a mentality.

Fact: My Brother Loves Tom Delonge.

     Whether it's Blink-182, Boxcar Racer, or Angels and Airwaves, my brother is all but infatuated with Tom Delonge.  Why am I saying this?  Why is this worth a post?  That's simple:  I like those bands because he showed them to me; I fell in love with them because of him.
      There's this one song by Boxcar Racer, "There Is", that my brother showed me his freshmen year of high school.  How do I remember this?  My brother had a crazy girlfriend that made him sing her this song on skype almost every night.  Well,  my he is not a freshmen in high school anymore, in fact he's done with Good Counsel and in a couple of weeks he'll have officially graduated.  Besides the multiple bands that he has introduced me to, when I think of his for years of high school I think about the people that were around him.  As much of a loner as everyone seems to think he is, he has always had someone there.
      Freshmen year he has this crazy girlfriend from a different state.  She seemed decent but turned out to be a but psycho.  Then the summer was devoted to his oldest friend, my other brother, a couple other old camp friends, and these two girls he befriended at school earlier that year.  Then sophomore year there was this stoner chick (not a fan) and his bestfriend-turned girlfriend, she was nice.  There also were some newer school friends, these came sophomore year but they never left, and I hope they never will.  Summer goes back to typical summer friends but with new addition of these new boys.  Junior year came and along with that came a senior girlfriend! Yeah, sounds cool in theory, but she was weird too.  I never liked her much.  Then came summer, classic friends.  And finally, during his senior year he asked out the bestfriend he had dated sophomore year.
     That's my brother in people.  Those are the people I think of when I think of him these past years.  As weird as some of them were, they were so meant for him.  He had fun and, even though it didn't seem like it, he had a pretty stereotypic high school experience.  What am I going to do without him next year?

Starlight, Starbright

     I want my ceiling to be alive with stars again.  When I was little they were like a cool nightlight when I was getting weaned off a real nightlight.  Then, as I got older they became more of something magical; something that connected my world to the worlds of the books that I'd read.  Now I still read those books, but there's no connection to my world anymore.  The few stars (and meteors) that remain don't shine and together barely make a dull glow.  I want my nights to be alive again.  I wish the stars would come back.

When did I become old enough to go to Prom?

     Yeah, what?  Prom is for older people, for teenagers...oh wait, that's me.  Well there are two roads I can go down at this point: the one that recedes back into my childhood and refuses to accept that I'm growing up, or the one that embraces my 16-going-on-17 self and milk my prom experience for all it's worth.

     That all seems dandy, until you factor in that it's not just one magical dance that I will remember for the rest of my life...they're three (and that's just this year)!  In the movies it's only one high school, one prom, one year.  I guess I was naive enough to think that that's how it would be for me when I become of age.  I forgot to factor one little thing in however: I don't go to public school, and the catholic school system screws up the whole movie idea that I've worked up in my head ever since I've been old enough to watch Disney Channel.  Instead of one school, there are at least six.  Instead of just seniors at prom, because of the lack of students, there are seniors and juniors.  Instead of a prom king and queen, there is a prom queen and a princess.

    

     So I guess my many proms won't ALL be completely memorable, but the only way I'll find out is if I act like each prom is my only one.  At least one better be memorable this year, for all the stress it's worth.