So yes, my last post and this have something in common: they're both inspired by songs. It's not that I haven't had any original musings lately and I absolutely need music to help guide me, it's just that usually when I'm on the computer I'm on youtube and so it's a spur of the moment decision to blog. So thank you The Secret Handshake for your amazing song "TGIF".
We thought it would be easier, life that is. We grew up with shows about families that could solve their problems within 30 minutes. It was a world in that no matter what someone did, a generically loving conversation that concluded with a hug and cheery music playing in the background was all that was needed to fix the screw-up. A world where everybody got their license and a car on their 16th birthday. Where dances involved gaudy dresses, all lights on, and almost no physical contact with anyone else on the dance floor.
We looked up to the people in "Junior High" back then because they were the next step for us. This shows in which kids face peer pressure and bad study habits in such a conspicuous way that they've got you convinced you'll be able to handle it just as perfectly as they did. "Junior High" became middle school for us, and nothing so direct came across our paths. We then remembered the shows of our "younger days" and felt silly for thinking that middle school was anything out of the ordinary. Now we had high school to face. High School was still called high school in those shows, so it had to be more realistic than junior high had been.
But now we're old enough to drive, even though most of us did not get our lisences and our cars when the clock stroked twelve on our 16th birthday. We know now that those television shows are just that: old television shows. We realize that peer pressure is a lot more surreptitious and it's not always so easy to point out. Fights with friends and family last more than half an hour and more-often-than-not they don't wrap up nicely in a cute, heart-warming hug. There is so much ambiguity out there that it's hard to say too many things for certain. The grey area that was so conveniently kept out of late 90's and early 2000's sitcoms becomes the dominant area. Boyfriends aren't always the type of people you want to meet your parents and in keeping with that idea, you don't tell your parent everything because sometimes they really just won't understand.
Life isn't as easy as we had once hoped and prayed it would be. But then again, now we get tired of watching those cheesy sitcoms with happy endings. We've started watching dramas and shows with twists and turns. We grow up, watch new shows, and get new expectations. The good news is that life isn't exactly as hard as those shows either. Life can't be defined by a genre of television and yet we're always half-expecting our lives to turn out with the same problems and dilemmas that come with these new and old shows. Television is television and life is life. They are two separate things and they cannot be combined (even reality shows!).
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Friday, December 28, 2012
I Don't Want to be in Love
I think I've come to a major realization about the influence music had on my middle-school self. I am almost positive that a great contributor to my cynicism about all relationships at the teenage level is the renowned band Good Charlotte. Good Charlotte and their chart-topping song "I Don't Wanna Be In Love", that is.
Hear me out: in 7th grade the catholic middle schools would all congregate for dances and they'd be just long enough to get through the cleaner (or I guess the apropriate term would be less inappropriate) Top 40 songs. "I Don't Wanna Be In Love" made it on that list for the majority of the year. 7th grade was also the time of my first "boyfriend". Even though it was strictly a talk-on-the-phone-every-day-but-no-contact-outside-of-that relationship, to the rest of my friends and me it was as legitimate as it got.
What does any of this have to do with my cynicism? Well we broke up (shocker of all shockers, right?) and I realized that I needed to not care, especially not in front of my friends. Now don't get me wrong, the amount that I genuinely did care was not very much but just enough to want to hide it. My favorite song at that time was, of course, that little Good Charlotte diddy I always heard at dances. There's a line in that song that goes "We break-up, it's something that we do now. Everyone has got to do it sometime, it's all right, let it go, get out there and find someone." and that became my mantra. That's what I would tell my friends whenever they asked if I was sad (or for the cattier friends, when they tried to point out how sad I should be).
I guess I clung to that a little too intensely in my head and somewhere along the line those words became law. Everyone had to brake up eventually and when they do it shouldn't be sad, they should get out there asap. When that song becomes your bible at a young age I guess it's hard to shake it off as you get older and not everyone breaks-up. I'm not saying that's the only, only, only reason I'm cynical, but it definitely didn't help. Interesting how something as silly as a pop-song could help shape someone...
Hear me out: in 7th grade the catholic middle schools would all congregate for dances and they'd be just long enough to get through the cleaner (or I guess the apropriate term would be less inappropriate) Top 40 songs. "I Don't Wanna Be In Love" made it on that list for the majority of the year. 7th grade was also the time of my first "boyfriend". Even though it was strictly a talk-on-the-phone-every-day-but-no-contact-outside-of-that relationship, to the rest of my friends and me it was as legitimate as it got.
What does any of this have to do with my cynicism? Well we broke up (shocker of all shockers, right?) and I realized that I needed to not care, especially not in front of my friends. Now don't get me wrong, the amount that I genuinely did care was not very much but just enough to want to hide it. My favorite song at that time was, of course, that little Good Charlotte diddy I always heard at dances. There's a line in that song that goes "We break-up, it's something that we do now. Everyone has got to do it sometime, it's all right, let it go, get out there and find someone." and that became my mantra. That's what I would tell my friends whenever they asked if I was sad (or for the cattier friends, when they tried to point out how sad I should be).
I guess I clung to that a little too intensely in my head and somewhere along the line those words became law. Everyone had to brake up eventually and when they do it shouldn't be sad, they should get out there asap. When that song becomes your bible at a young age I guess it's hard to shake it off as you get older and not everyone breaks-up. I'm not saying that's the only, only, only reason I'm cynical, but it definitely didn't help. Interesting how something as silly as a pop-song could help shape someone...
Sunday, December 23, 2012
'Tis The Season
Well here we are again, Christmas time is in four days and with that it's time for self-reflection. Last year I remember being in Chile and wanting nothing more than a white christmas. This year I might not get my white Christmas but surprise of all surprises, my family came up from Chile! I never really considered I could get the best of both worlds. Well this year I can drive myself around which comes in handy when you have a job and friends and just want alone time. Ginny (my car) is kind of like what my room used to be. Also my brother's friends and my brother have come back from their first semester of college...it's weird.
Speaking of college, I've gotten in a couple of places and the more acceptances I get the more lost I become. All I want for Christmas is to know where I want to go. A lot of people either applied early decision or had a very clear first choice; needless to say I'm beyond jealous of them. Who knew I'd be here, blogging and thinking about college and Christmas. My Christmas list was pretty simple this year but very clear so it's easy to follow. I want a couple new CDs, a couple new books, knee-high boots (I mean I am a typical teenage girl after all), and some nail polish. But again, I'd switch all that for a clear choice of my future. I'm a bit terrified of picking the wrong thing. Also I always said I wanted to go somewhere where I don't know anyone but I never really took into consideration what that would do to my current friendships. I'm scared my best friends won't be my best friends anymore. I'm scared because I know that's basically inevitable. Hopefully all works out. I still have time to worry about it and at the same time I still have time to worry about nothing, being a second-semester senior and all. Wow, me, a second-semester senior. Things happen fast, and this Christmas break, as short as it may be, will be unforgettable, if for nothing else than the simple fact that this is the last Christmas before everything changes. I want to go ice skating and I want to see my friends. I want to see all my friends, so that I have at least one more memory with each of them before I go add more friends to my life.
So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Survived-the-End-of-the-World, I hope you have an amazing end to 2012 and an even better 2013 (you know, the year I graduate high school)!
Speaking of college, I've gotten in a couple of places and the more acceptances I get the more lost I become. All I want for Christmas is to know where I want to go. A lot of people either applied early decision or had a very clear first choice; needless to say I'm beyond jealous of them. Who knew I'd be here, blogging and thinking about college and Christmas. My Christmas list was pretty simple this year but very clear so it's easy to follow. I want a couple new CDs, a couple new books, knee-high boots (I mean I am a typical teenage girl after all), and some nail polish. But again, I'd switch all that for a clear choice of my future. I'm a bit terrified of picking the wrong thing. Also I always said I wanted to go somewhere where I don't know anyone but I never really took into consideration what that would do to my current friendships. I'm scared my best friends won't be my best friends anymore. I'm scared because I know that's basically inevitable. Hopefully all works out. I still have time to worry about it and at the same time I still have time to worry about nothing, being a second-semester senior and all. Wow, me, a second-semester senior. Things happen fast, and this Christmas break, as short as it may be, will be unforgettable, if for nothing else than the simple fact that this is the last Christmas before everything changes. I want to go ice skating and I want to see my friends. I want to see all my friends, so that I have at least one more memory with each of them before I go add more friends to my life.
So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Survived-the-End-of-the-World, I hope you have an amazing end to 2012 and an even better 2013 (you know, the year I graduate high school)!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Fact: there are over 1000 types of trees in the world.
What are trees? They're an organism that makes up part of an ecosystem. I could go on into more detail but the gist of it is that a tree is a plant with bark and leaves.
What did trees used to be? Trees used to be dancing creatures, shadowy and mysterious bad guys, or even enchanted objects that attacked anyone that came near in the case of Harry Potter. Trees were alive back then, and I'm not talking about alive as in the biological sense that they're living, breathing organisms. I'm talking about alive as in having a mind, a spirit, a soul, and even feelings.
Now, if you haven't already caught on, I'm not referring to what trees were like four billion years ago. I'm referring to what they were like when we were little.
When we were kids, everything was alive and magical. Trees were people or castles, clouds were the kingdom in the sky, boxes were spaceships or houses, the floor was lava that, when you fell into it, turned you into one of the lava monsters. I don't know about you, but that world sounds like a lot more entertaining than ours.
So here's my question: when did Teribethia, Narnia, Hogwarts, and Neverland stop being real? When did it become impossible to start your Pokemon journey or go visit Spongebob at Bikini Bottom? When did you stop wishing your magical powers would come, or stop trying to make your air, fire, earth, or water-bending work?
I'm not even old yet and it's safe to say that a tree is never going to come alive and dance again. When did 17 suddenly not become the most awesome, exciting, thrilling, worth-the-wait year? If I had one wish, it would be to have one more hour basking in the world where everything is alive and enchanting. Just one hour to believe in anything and everything once more.
What did trees used to be? Trees used to be dancing creatures, shadowy and mysterious bad guys, or even enchanted objects that attacked anyone that came near in the case of Harry Potter. Trees were alive back then, and I'm not talking about alive as in the biological sense that they're living, breathing organisms. I'm talking about alive as in having a mind, a spirit, a soul, and even feelings.
Now, if you haven't already caught on, I'm not referring to what trees were like four billion years ago. I'm referring to what they were like when we were little.
When we were kids, everything was alive and magical. Trees were people or castles, clouds were the kingdom in the sky, boxes were spaceships or houses, the floor was lava that, when you fell into it, turned you into one of the lava monsters. I don't know about you, but that world sounds like a lot more entertaining than ours.
So here's my question: when did Teribethia, Narnia, Hogwarts, and Neverland stop being real? When did it become impossible to start your Pokemon journey or go visit Spongebob at Bikini Bottom? When did you stop wishing your magical powers would come, or stop trying to make your air, fire, earth, or water-bending work?
I'm not even old yet and it's safe to say that a tree is never going to come alive and dance again. When did 17 suddenly not become the most awesome, exciting, thrilling, worth-the-wait year? If I had one wish, it would be to have one more hour basking in the world where everything is alive and enchanting. Just one hour to believe in anything and everything once more.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride
Miss me? Sorry, I've been doing all my blogging on good old fashioned paper for the past few months, but I'm back now and boy do I have a huge revelation (thanks in part to Lilo and Stitch as well as the homecoming theme this year).
So you know how people always describe events as a roller coaster ride? Some go as far as to say that life is one big roller coaster ride? Well I completely agree with those people, but for more than just the obvious "life has ups and downs". The metaphor is way more than that, it delves deeper into the experience of riding a roller coaster.
Yes, a roller coaster goes up and down. That's pretty easy to relate to life; throughout your life there are good moments and bad ones of the like. You don't really notice yourself go up though, or at least I don't. It's a slow rise and, if you're actually noticing it instead of talking with the person next to you, the entire time you're just worrying about the inevitable descent. The only time you really grasp how high up you were is as you're plummeting towards the ground. You don't notice all the great times in your life, they hide themselves as mundane events, until things start going wrong. You don't realize how good you had it because you were so aware that something unpleasant was someday going to happen. So there's the rise of the elevator. The fall is also pretty accurate. You drop at ungodly speeds and just when you think you're about to die, you're suddenly facing upright again. Something can seem like the worst thing in the world and sometimes it feels as though you're never going to get out of the fog, and then you realize that life keeps going and it's not the end.
Roller coasters are terrifying, there is no denying that. Life is terrifying, there is definitely no denying that. And yet a roller coaster with no descent, life with nothing bad ever happening, doesn't sound like an enjoyable ride. The fear, the excitement, the possibilities, the negative and the positive, these are the things that make life worth living.
So you know how people always describe events as a roller coaster ride? Some go as far as to say that life is one big roller coaster ride? Well I completely agree with those people, but for more than just the obvious "life has ups and downs". The metaphor is way more than that, it delves deeper into the experience of riding a roller coaster.
Yes, a roller coaster goes up and down. That's pretty easy to relate to life; throughout your life there are good moments and bad ones of the like. You don't really notice yourself go up though, or at least I don't. It's a slow rise and, if you're actually noticing it instead of talking with the person next to you, the entire time you're just worrying about the inevitable descent. The only time you really grasp how high up you were is as you're plummeting towards the ground. You don't notice all the great times in your life, they hide themselves as mundane events, until things start going wrong. You don't realize how good you had it because you were so aware that something unpleasant was someday going to happen. So there's the rise of the elevator. The fall is also pretty accurate. You drop at ungodly speeds and just when you think you're about to die, you're suddenly facing upright again. Something can seem like the worst thing in the world and sometimes it feels as though you're never going to get out of the fog, and then you realize that life keeps going and it's not the end.
Roller coasters are terrifying, there is no denying that. Life is terrifying, there is definitely no denying that. And yet a roller coaster with no descent, life with nothing bad ever happening, doesn't sound like an enjoyable ride. The fear, the excitement, the possibilities, the negative and the positive, these are the things that make life worth living.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The Camila
The jock. The popular one. The nerd. These titles all seem so incredibly outdated, but the idea of them still hangs. The word "the"is possibly the strongest word when it comes to how we describe others. It implies that she is the only person, or at least the main one, that holds that characteristic. We label ever person with "the"; teenagers would call it a persons "reputation". Now instead of someone's reputation being as vague as jock or cheerleader, they are the partier, the alcoholic, the clingy one. It's what one person thinks of whenever they think of you. How much does that suck?
The straight-edge, the prude, the slacker, the nice one, the slut, the leader. That's me. I am all of the above, and none of the above. I do not drink or smoke so yes, technically I am a straight-edge. However, I don't care if others drink or smoke while I'm around, so I'm not the most straight-edged person out there. I do not "go far" with boys, and I don't really plan too any time soon so yes I am by definition a prude. I do however very much enjoy the occasional "hook-up" quite a lot, so I am no where near the prudest girl out there. I do not let myself stress out over something like school, I don't always hand in homework, and I'm usually not prepared for class. I am by definition lazy. I also get good grades, and grasp the material exellently, so I'm not about to get an award for slacker of the year anytime soon. I am friendly to all, or I try to be. That makes me friendly. I get frustrated, annoyed, and bitchy towards people pretty frequently; there are plenty of friendlier people out there. Again, I love making-out with people. Not really ashamed of it. I won't go far though so I can get ruled out for slut supreme. I was class president so I am a leader; I love being a leader. I can't make decisions and am no longer class president; not exactly the best leader.
This post is titled "The Camila", a title that should be changed because I know plenty of other Camilas. Truth is I am all of those things, just without the "the". No one word suits me perfectly; no one word can sum up who I am. No one word is sufficient to describe anybody. It's the combination of all the possible titles that make us who we are. The different combinations make us unique.
So fine, call me the prude or the straight-edge, you're only just scratching the surface.
The straight-edge, the prude, the slacker, the nice one, the slut, the leader. That's me. I am all of the above, and none of the above. I do not drink or smoke so yes, technically I am a straight-edge. However, I don't care if others drink or smoke while I'm around, so I'm not the most straight-edged person out there. I do not "go far" with boys, and I don't really plan too any time soon so yes I am by definition a prude. I do however very much enjoy the occasional "hook-up" quite a lot, so I am no where near the prudest girl out there. I do not let myself stress out over something like school, I don't always hand in homework, and I'm usually not prepared for class. I am by definition lazy. I also get good grades, and grasp the material exellently, so I'm not about to get an award for slacker of the year anytime soon. I am friendly to all, or I try to be. That makes me friendly. I get frustrated, annoyed, and bitchy towards people pretty frequently; there are plenty of friendlier people out there. Again, I love making-out with people. Not really ashamed of it. I won't go far though so I can get ruled out for slut supreme. I was class president so I am a leader; I love being a leader. I can't make decisions and am no longer class president; not exactly the best leader.
This post is titled "The Camila", a title that should be changed because I know plenty of other Camilas. Truth is I am all of those things, just without the "the". No one word suits me perfectly; no one word can sum up who I am. No one word is sufficient to describe anybody. It's the combination of all the possible titles that make us who we are. The different combinations make us unique.
So fine, call me the prude or the straight-edge, you're only just scratching the surface.
Monday, June 18, 2012
17 and Summertime
Every summer my best friend and I have taken to making a list of goals for the next few months, a summer bucket-list if you will. Well apart from that here's my own personal summer bucket-list, that I know you're just dying to read:
- Watch the sunset at the beach
- Reconnect with old friends
- Read a new book that has nothing to do with anything magical
- Finish my entire summer math packet for once
- Carve my name into a tree
- Make at least one July Saturday night unforgettable
- Avoid negative thoughts
- Meet a new good-friend
- Do not judge anyone based on others' opinions
- Do a front flip on a trampoline
- Bleach my hair again
- Take at least one new risk
- Make memories and keep some secrets
- Not worry
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